today is one of those not so fun day..mayb im not in the mood ?

mr tan ordered pizza for us, FINALLY..

and i've gotten my ipod back.thank god .

then i took bus to clementi. and take train back to yewtee.

thru out the bus journey i thought for very very long .

.

.

.

i know i am not too sensative. i know i can tolerate it as long as it's not goin overboard.

but i dont make a single shit sound doesnt mean that im dead.

what am i to u.. a steppin stone to know my friends ?

i feel so very used.., this is the first time i had this feelin ya know .

i've thought thru for weeks or perhaps a month.

and i only hav a word to describe u. hypocrite.

what the fuck person are you..cold blooded ?

used me then throw me aside then hav fun with yr new friends ?

u want to know them, so be it..do you hav to be this cold and blunt towards me?

i came into this school with a psychology barrier, i locked myself in my own world , stayin away from the outside world, not trustin in people..because i dont want to get hurt again.

u befriended me, shrink the barrier and eventually removed it.i trusted u with all my heart and this is what im to u ? ..barely a pawn ?

fuck shit . and god damn u . u dont fuckin giv me the crocodile tears and sympathy. i swear that i've seen thru u and i felt damn disgusted .

time and time u say u r sorry..either u r not..or u jus wont learn yr mistakes u jus wont change.

u've won all the trust u need from people, all the attention that u would ever need.

u can tell people that u dunno anything, dunno that yr 'jokes' are hurtin me and that u dint gave me a cold shoulder .

whatever. i dont need people to believe me, to stand up or support me. so save yr breathe in explanation, save yr excuses to others .